A little adventure with Freya, part 2

The drive down to the clinic was pretty uneventful.  I had opted for a slightly longer time on the road in lieu of driving on the interstate, which can be unpredictably backed up and heavy with truck traffic, and it turned out to be a great choice.  It took us about six hours, including a stop for gas and to check on Freya.  She seemed to be taking the trip in stride after her initial irritation at having her plans for the day seriously disrupted.  

When we got to the farm hosting the clinic, I found the owner and asked for details on unloading Freya and parking the trailer.  It was a really nice farm with a great set-up.  We parked next to the paddocks that would be hosting the horses for the clinic and chose one for Freya.  We were one of the first people to arrive, so I worried that the lack of horses in sight would upset Freya.  But she walked off the trailer like she'd always lived there and went straight into her paddock and happily started munching on grass.

The farm was in a beautiful setting with nice paddocks for the horses.

We got water and hay set up for Freya and unloaded the hay and tack trunk from the truck bed and got the trailer organized for the next few days.  After checking on Freya to make sure she was still doing OK, we headed about 15 minutes down the road to our hotel to get checked in.

I had reserved a room at a hotel with kitchenettes so we wouldn't have to go out looking for food and we could focus on the clinic.  We had a little time before the evening session with Mark, so we unpacked our food and supplies and fixed a light dinner before heading back to the farm.

At this point, I was still thinking that it wasn't going to be an issue for Gemma to ride in the clinic.  But when we checked in for the session with Mark, the organizer pulled me aside and explained that Mark was really not comfortable with Gemma participating in the clinic because of her age and that he would prefer if I did the sessions instead.

I was a little bit thrown because I'd already emailed Gemma's experience, and I really thought she'd be OK.  But I can see from Mark's perspective that he didn't know me or Gemma, and I admit that I have seen kids Gemma's age struggle with coordination in the saddle and understanding even basic instructions, even if they have been riding for awhile.  I could tell Gemma was disappointed at the news, but handling it really well.  I asked the organizer if it would be OK to talk to Mark in person about the situation after the session, and she said it would.  I wasn't quite sure how I was going to convince him to let Gemma participate, but I was hoping something would come to me soon...

We spent the next two and a half hours in a Q&A session with Mark.  There were probably 30 - 40 people there and everyone had the opportunity to ask as many and whatever questions they wanted.  Gemma was easily the youngest person there by about 30 years, but everyone was very supportive of her being there.  Even more surprising was that as Gemma listened to the session, she thought of her own question and asked it.  She wanted to know if Mark thought horses could read human minds.  Of course, she already knew the answer is yes, but she was curious about Mark's viewpoint.

As with all of the questions, Mark took her question seriously and provided a thoughtful answer based on some research that had been done.  He said he wasn't sure if horses could read minds, but that research did support some kind of connection.  The study he discussed involved participants who were very scared of horses.  I can't remember all of the details he gave, but the gist of it seemed to be that they put the scared people in a round pen with a horse.  The person was blind-folded and then the person's and the horse's responses were observed.  Again, I can't remember all of the specifics, but I think the researchers found that the horses gave down-regulating signs, like they were trying to help the person feel less scared.  Which is a super interesting result.

I asked Mark how he chooses the horses he buys.  I have a membership to his online classroom, and I've been intermittently following the video series he has done on Top, a horse that he brings to clinics.  And I was curious about how he decided to get that horse.  Because the horse was not without issues, and Mark said he has been working with him for about two years.  He explained that he used to breed and train his own horses, and at one clinic, a woman he was working with expressed a bit of frustration with him as she pointed out that he didn't have to deal with the issues she was dealing with because he bred and trained his own horses.  He said he took her comment to heart and over time eventually sold his breeding stock and started buying horses that had issues like the ones he saw in clinic participant's horses, so he would know exactly what they were dealing with.  I thought that was a pretty impressive thing to do and showed a real commitment to the work that he does.  In the case of Top, he bought the horse off of a video and said he saw something in the way the horse reacted to an error by his rider.  After the mistake, the horse basically just shook it off and went on his way.  Mark said he liked that reaction because it meant the horse could experience stress and then quickly get back to a good mental state.

After the session was over, it was about 8:30 pm.  Gemma and I had been up since 6 am, we'd been on the road for six hours, we had gotten Freya settled in, checked ourselves into our hotel and eaten dinner, and sat through a two and a half hour session.  I knew Gemma was done in for the day, but I really wanted to see if I could find a way to resolve Mark's concern about Gemma's participation.  Zero bright ideas had come to me about how to do that, but I approached him anyway.

I introduced myself and explained the situation and asked if it would be OK to talk about it.  Mark said it would.  So I went through the same points I'd made in my email about her having taken lessons for three years, that she rides multiple horses in multiple disciplines, that some of the instruction she gets is focused on her coordination in the saddle and that she has been working with an instructor on more complicated things like balance of the horse.  While I was talking, Gemma came up to us.  

Mark turned to her and started asking her questions about her experience, her horse, and what she hoped to learn.  And I thought she did great.  She answered all of his questions.  She was enthusiastic and honest.  And I guess she did what I couldn't.  She convinced Mark that she should be allowed to ride with him.  We decided that I would do the session with Mark's student instructor the next day (Friday) and Gemma would participate in the session with Mark on Sunday.

I was so relieved that we'd been able to find a solution, and I had my first good night's sleep in a long time that night.

The next morning we were up at 6:30.  We got ready and packed snacks and then headed out to the farm.  We found Freya in good shape and fed her breakfast and picked manure from the paddock.  At about 9, we headed to the outdoor arena where Gray, Mark's student instructor would be working with people and horses.  I didn't know anything about her, although Mark had explained that he was very selective about his student instructors.  If my memory is correct, there are only eight of them.

Taking instruction from someone I don't know is super hard for me.  Not because I don't want to listen or try the techniques they suggest, but because it is hard for me to trust and communicate with someone I don't know.  To help me do better in my session, I wanted to watch Gray work, so I could get a better idea of what to expect when my session came up.

I really enjoyed watching her.  She was pleasant and focused on working with her student, and she would throw in the occasional joke as well as check her audience to see if they had questions.  Observing her teach definitely helped me feel better about my session with her, which would be that afternoon.

Being nine, Gemma didn't have the attention span to watch lesson after lesson all day, so after the first lesson and half the second, we moved back to checking on Freya and then we went back to the hotel for lunch.  My session was scheduled for 2 pm, so we came back at about 1 to make sure there was enough time to get ready.

I wouldn't be riding Freya - I hadn't even brought a saddle or a helmet.  I knew that any work I did with her would be on the ground.  As I've written before, I really felt like she had a fundamental issue that needed to be resolved with the bracing she was doing, so I wanted to start on the ground first.

We ended up working in one end of the indoor arena while Mark did a session at the other end.  It was at least a full-size dressage arena, so there was plenty of room.  I knew the work we would be doing wouldn't require a huge amount of space, and I thought Freya would be more comfortable if she could see other horses.

When I walked her into the arena, I could tell she was a little nervous.  She wanted to look around a lot and stop and then walk.  I gave her the opportunity to do that while we waited for our time, thinking I was doing the right thing to help her figure out her surroundings.  I later learned that I wasn't helping her as much as I thought I was. 

At this point, I'm going to freely admit that while I have spent decades of my life learning to be a better rider, I have spent very little time actively trying to improve my horsemanship skills.  As a rider, I've still got a lot to learn, but I also feel confident enough in my skills to say that I can classify myself as a good rider.  I don't think I have the skill set to work horses that need special handling, but I think I could ride most horses that don't have serious issues without getting myself into trouble.

Comparatively speaking, the amount I know about how to handle horses on the ground is pretty minimal.  I've been able to get by because I generally interact with horses that have basic skills and good temperaments.  I've read a lot and watched a lot of videos on handling horses.  But when it comes to practical experience with an expert instructor, I've got almost nothing.

Which is one reason I wanted to go to this clinic.  I need to move beyond a theoretical understanding and start using the techniques I've been reading about and watching.  But I know that I need an expert to help me.

So when it was my time to work with Gray and she asked me what I wanted to work on, I explained that I felt like Freya had this low level of worry that I wanted to help her with.  And I mentioned that when I ask her to do something, like back up or move over, she has trouble giving just one step.  Instead, she moves a lot of steps, as if she is compelled to move.  I also pointed out that she was having trouble standing still.

Gray watched me handle Freya and asked a couple of follow up questions, and then she asked if she could work with Freya for a bit.  I willingly turned over the lead rope and watched.

I know I've written about my concern about leading a horse from in front before.  I did some work with Donut on it a few months after I got her and I found it to be very disconcerting and anxiety inducing.  But I had noticed that everyone at this clinic was leading their horses from in front.  And it was clear that after Gray worked with Freya for a few minutes that Freya was perfectly comfortable being led from in front.  Not only that, but her anxiety and trouble standing still was completely resolved.

I learned to lead horses from the side.  In fact, I spent several of my teenage years practicing for showmanship at halter for 4-H shows, which required the handler to be in a certain position on the side of the horse while leading.  What I discovered at this clinic is that leading from the side may be OK after you've mastered leading from the front, but that it isn't where you start.  One of statements I heard over and over at this clinic was that horses need direction from their handlers.  Not giving direction can get you into all sorts of trouble.  In Freya's case, not telling her where I wanted her to be was likely causing her some anxiety or at least not relieving any anxiety that she currently felt.

I was definitely having a moment or two as I processed not only the idea that I may have spent the last almost four decades of my life looking at something as basic as leading a horse in the wrong way, but also that I may have caused myself and my horses unnecessary difficulty because I had never learned a better way to lead.

Gray was not to be deterred from her attempt to help me improve, though, and she gave me back the lead rope so I could practice.  It turns out that the person Mark should have interviewed to see if she could handle the clinic was me, not Gemma:)  My timing was awful, and I struggled to let go of my own bracing as I worked with Freya.  We did eventually get the essentials of it, though, and I found that if I could lead so that the horse was positioned just behind me instead of several feet behind me, I didn't have any worry about being run over by accident if the horse spooked.  One thing that I initially struggled with was the use of the lead rope and making a noise to indicate to Freya that she was in the wrong place.  The most common technique is to swing the lead rope in front of (not at) the horse and make a "shhhhhh" sound to indicate the horse needs to move either away or back from the handler.  My coordination being virtually non-existent and also being a bit self-conscious hindered my early efforts.

The next thing we worked on was addressing Freya's bracing.  We started with the halter and just putting a gentle pressure backward on the lead rope.  The goal wasn't to ask Freya to back up, it was to ask her to soften through her poll, even the slightest bit.  Again, Gray had to start off the exercise, and what she found was the same thing I did.  Freya was very responsive but she didn't understand how to soften.  She started backing her way around the arena, not understanding that she was being asked to soften.

It took awhile - maybe 10 minutes - for Gray to help Freya understand what was being asked.  Gray pointed out that sometimes (probably a lot of times if we are going to be honest) when horses are trained, the training only requires that the horse moves its feet, not that it does the movement with softness.  So bracing or pushing into pressure becomes what the horse thinks it is supposed to do.  It could also be that Freya's reaction developed over time due to inconsistent or uneducated riding.  And Gemma and I had been reinforcing it simply because I wasn't sure how to change the response.  And I doubt I could have done it as diligently and accurately as Gray did.

After Freya understood that the pressure was asking her to soften, Gray turned her back over to me to practice.  Again, my timing sucked and I struggled a bit, but I did get to the point where Gray felt we could move on to the next step.

We swapped Freya's halter for her bridle and Gray worked with her again.  This time applying slight pressure to both reins to ask her to soften her poll.  And by slight I mean something like a quarter pound of pressure.  Just enough so the contact was stable and steady.  It took some time for Freya to grasp what was meant, but eventually she did, and then I practiced with her.  Interestingly, I realized that I might have had an easier time had I been riding, because my coordination in the saddle is much better than it is on the ground.  But as you'll discover, this ended up being good practice for Gemma's session with Mark.  I also want to note that the response Gray was looking for was very subtle.  It could be seen by a careful observer, but it was more of a feeling than anything else.  The movement Freya gave was very slight.  Maybe just an inch of her nose moving in.  The change was really in the way she softened through her poll just a little.

This was the subtlety that I felt was most appropriate for her.  In my Science of Motion work, we had worked toward the same type of goal of yielding through the poll, but the intensity of what was expected was too much for Freya and it worried her.  The softness we were looking for with Gray didn't worry her.  She didn't soften at first not because she was worried but because she simply didn't know what we were asking.

All too soon, our hour with Gray was up.  I felt like I learned so much, though, and that I could now see a way forward with Freya that could help her.

The other benefit was that Gemma had been watching carefully.  She had made herself at home in the arena, befriending another lady who was watching the session.  By the time Freya and I were done, Gemma and her new friend were comfortably seated next to each other on the floor of the arena, actively engaged in a conversation.

Gemma immediately started practicing the leading technique as she walked Freya back to her paddock.  And her timing was already better than mine.